Have you been made the sacrifice?
A very wise woman suggested to me that my inaugural blog post should focus on the topic of how not to become the sacrifice. That phrase, to be made the sacrifice, or to be the sacrifice may not be of obvious meaning to some of you. What it means is that many of us have been placed in a position where our interests and desires were often denied, or de-prioritized for someone else or for some other interest. It may have happened because you had a narcissistic parent, an abusive partner, a stifling belief system, or family who, despite their best efforts, did not give you what you needed. The denial of our needs has fed someone else’s interests, like an animal sacrifice standing in place of another, for their own salvation.
The sad thing is that, even after we are able to analyze how others have made us the sacrifice, we may come to realize that we continue to make ourselves the sacrifice. Giving too much to other people, not setting proper boundaries, and not developing the right kind of discipline in ourselves are examples of this dynamic. In doing this we reenact and recapitulate those previous patterns where others placed us in the sacrifice seat, only in this case, we climb upon the altar ourselves, often not realizing that we can take ourselves down anytime we wish.
At this stage in my life, I’m contemplating the ways that I have been made, and continue to make myself the sacrifice; by not setting limits, by being co-dependent, by not attending to myself, or by not disciplining myself as I should in order to get what I say I want in life. By not having fun. I am working to stop this dynamic. I’m will be addressing these and many other topics on this blog.
So the challenge that I would present is the following: if you find that you’re always aiming to please others, and that you never really do what you want to do, if you have regrets about not being able to break out, expand, or bloom, because other people’s needs took precedence, and because you have created your own roadblocks. If you find that you’re continuing the same patterns that other people set in motion for you, you have a choice…You can choose to get off the altar.
Thanks for stopping by and reading. More to come…